Narrowing the GAAP

Approximately 60% of people who find jobs find them via networking. The hundreds and thousands of articles written on networking each year all reach the same conclusion: networking is one of the strongest skills you can develop in the corporate world, and if used successfully can get you almost anything you want out of your career, short of milkshakes and blowjobs. I would contend that ultra-successful networkers are able to finagle those riches of life through networking as well.

So, what is networking? Networking is the simply art of building relationships with people. In other words: it’s making friends. Yes, friends. There are many authors who are somewhat hesitant to use the word “friends” while talking about networking, and rightfully so. Many people do not have any boundaries when it comes to their friends. They say and do whatever comes to their mind without any internal filters. These people are idiots. Do not be an idiot. With that being said, here are the skills you need to develop to be a good networker.

Stand out from the crowd:
Your mom lied to you. You are not a unique snowflake. God did not make you any special. And your teeth are kind of stained. Why should I care about you?

We live in an information age, and there is all sorts of random information coming our way. And our brains can handle only so much information before discarding whatever it thinks is unimportant. The problem is what I perceive as important, and what you perceive as important could be very different. However, this fact is lost on many people.

If fifty people come up to me, tell me their name, shake my hand, hand me their resume, comment about the weather, and then walk away, I may remember three names – the first person I met, the last person, and the girl with the really cute ass. Sadly many candidates do exactly that, and inadvertently end up shooting themselves in the foot.

The way to stand out from the crowd is to actually engage the person in a meaningful conversation. Talking about the weather does not constitute a meaningful conversation. There is a reason you want to network with this person, what is it? What information does this person have that could be of value to you? Candidates miss out on a plethora of really useful tips from Big 4 professionals simply because they are too scared to ask for it.

Be genuine:
The way to make sure that you are memorable is by actually engaging the other person in a meaningful conversation. There is a reason you wish to network with the said person – ask yourself, what is the common ground? What information does this person have that could help me? It’s ok to ask questions, as long as these questions are something you actually care about.

I have seen many candidates who in their attempts to impress the Big 4 people, actually end up looking like know-it-alls who don’t know shit. My colleagues and I always rolled our eyes when we heard questions like:

“How do you feel about IFRS?”

Yes, we get it; you know what IFRS is. Every accounting student should know that. But I also know that you don’t give two shits about how I feel about IFRS. Jackass.

However, there are legitimate questions that a candidate may be concerned about and deserve an appropriate response. Ask THOSE questions. For example, I would be quite impressed with a candidate if he or she were to ask me a question that goes something like this:

“A lot of companies will be switching over to IFRS soon. What sort of training does your firm provide in this area? How often do such trainings take place?”

Is the quantity and quality of training from a future employer something that every candidate should be concerned with? Absolutely. The goal is to ask questions that you would be interested in knowing. Sometime before the networking event, set an hour or so aside, and think of everything you want to know. Make a list of things that you are unsure about (accounting homework doesn’t count), and then make it your sole mission to get these questions answered. It’s ok to ask the same question to different people, this will expose you to different viewpoints and bring you the closest to an unbiased opinion.

Respect other people’s time:
I never took offense to candidates emailing me with their questions or concerns. I did mind when candidates asked me things like, “When is resume submission deadline?” There are stupid questions, and there are stupid people. Both are quite fond of each other. Always do your homework when it comes to answering questions. If the question can be easily answered using Bing or Wikipedia, then don’t email a Big 4 professional asking for answers. Also, try to consolidate your questions in one email if possible. It greatly increases your chances of a reply. And always, always, always, thank the person taking the time to answer your questions! That person doesn’t need to do any of this, he or she is doing it for you. So show your ample gratitude, and the fact that you solicit their advice is because you respect them.

Disagree using diplomacy:
The most successful networkers are able to get others to see value in them. It should be fairly obvious that offending the person you are trying to network with is not productive at all. However, this should not translate to you agreeing with each and every little thing the person states; if you disagree with something, go ahead and voice your disagreement, but do so in an agreeable manner. Establish yourself as somebody who stays true to his or her convictions, while being capable of great diplomacy.

That’s great, but what the fuck does that mean?

Well, let me illustrate via an example: A very senior manager I met while working for the Big 4, loved to talk shit about the school I went to. Why? She went to the rival school. Since she was a senior manager, most associates just accepted the abuse and then secretly talked about how they hated her guts and her stupid state school. Eventually, I got around to working with her. Sure enough, she started her rant. Instead of just taking her abuse, I decided to stand-up for my school. I said the following in a jovial tone and with a smile on my face: “I think it’s awesome that you are still totally keeping the rivalry going. Are you sure you’re not secretly in love with my school? You sure seem to think a lot about it.” She laughed and walked away. What I said wasn’t particularly witty, but more to the point: it was not mean. I stood up for my school without putting her school down. We built a pretty strong working-relationship after that. She was actually a great person and really fun to work with. However my co-workers, who never stood up to her, always saw her in a different light. And she continued to pick on them.

In summary, successful networking depends on the same factors that a successful friendship depends on: you need to prove your worth, you need to be genuine, you need to respect your friends, and you shouldn’t be a raging asshole. It’s that simple. You can do it.