post Category: Fun — Accounting Genius @ 11:52 PM — post Comments (35)

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a location of your client’s choosing.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It’s difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, “What do you do?” and you can’t explain it.

13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

15. Your pimp drives a nice car.

16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to ease the pain of it all.

17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the  client is foolish enough to pay it’s not your problem.

18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell.

19. You are rated on your “performance” in an excruciating ordeal.

20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it’s the client who walks away smiling.

21. The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.

22. When you deduct your “take” from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.

23. Your pimp seems to often abuse you, forgetting that without you, he would not have a business.

24. You do all the real work, but the pimp has a higher status and more money, and really just has to “coordinate” the work for you. Sometimes, you wonder if you could just make more money pimping out yourself.

25. You get so brainwashed into the lifestyle, that you don’t realize that life can be better, until it is too late.

26. Personal time, or a work/life balance, is meaningless to your pimp, all he cares about is satisfying the clients, despite how many times he tells you he loves you.

27. After a few years, you find that all your non-prostitute friends are no longer your friends, because you lost touch and your schedule and lifestyle was difficult to manage. Now you find that you associate primarily with other prostitutes.

28. The turnover rate is ridiculously high. Everyone thinks they can do it for a few years, no problem, but after just a few clients railing you, many break under the pressure, or quit for a better life.

29. Most of the time, your job could be performed by a well-trained monkey.

30. You do what you’re told, and pass further inquiry.

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There are 35 comment(s) so far.


Truer words were never spoken.

June wrote on November 11, 2009 - 6:02 AM

That is dead on.

Anonymous wrote on November 23, 2009 - 9:48 PM

Prostitutes have enough self-esteem to not freak out over reviews, better strike that item.

bigtitasiangirl28 wrote on March 11, 2010 - 12:20 AM

BINGO!!!!! Now i have a better clarity… talk about value addition… ;)

Kanishk Negi wrote on July 15, 2010 - 1:37 AM

I now know what my life will be like :)

Furure Accouing Whore wrote on September 14, 2010 - 9:48 PM

cant even spell accounting!! Yikes!

Furure Accounting Whore wrote on September 14, 2010 - 9:49 PM

or future.. lol

Future Accounting Whore wrote on September 14, 2010 - 9:51 PM

Cannot spell “accunting”

Jay wrote on September 22, 2010 - 2:27 AM

since when did the big 4 pay well? (besides partners of course)

Yodawg wrote on October 13, 2010 - 8:33 PM

I am working or a company and drawing 100k. I have just got an offer from the BIG 4 and they want to pay me less by 20k. I am not sure if I should take this offer or not. Can anyone give me advise on this??

Really need help this time and want to make a decision.

yo man wrote on December 8, 2010 - 10:03 PM

Big 4 pay well? Don’t think so – strike that off the list!

anon wrote on January 13, 2011 - 6:38 PM

Comparatively, the pay isn’t too bad. Certainly not as good as the bankers or the engineers, but for how mindless accounting is and how little college kids actually know about real-world accounting, I would say the pay is pretty good. With that said, senior associates get paid like shit.

Accounting Genius wrote on January 24, 2011 - 12:13 AM

“11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.”

Who would be embarrassed to say they work for a Big 4 firm???

acctnt_shan wrote on April 26, 2011 - 9:07 PM

I feel like this check list could also be applied to anyone who works as a consultant.

Consultant wrote on April 26, 2011 - 10:32 PM

How big 4 employees are not like prostitutes:
1. Prostitutes have a chance of being laid by people who are not prostitutes.
2. Prostitutes only have 1 pimp’s ass to kiss.
3. Prostitutes don’t hang on to their job for ‘just a little longer’ to build a better resume.
4. There are assistance programs to help people get out of prostitution.

Non-accountant wrote on April 29, 2011 - 8:22 PM

5. There is an upper limit to the number of hours a pimp will expect a prostitute to work in a given day/week.

Non-accountant wrote on April 29, 2011 - 8:27 PM

This is soooo true !!!

Anonymous wrote on May 23, 2011 - 8:39 AM

Hilarious. I’m definitely passing this on to all of my accountant friends.

Kevin wrote on May 24, 2011 - 7:38 AM


I think he meant being an auditor. No one likes auditors.

No Name wrote on May 28, 2011 - 8:25 PM

concentrate on client satisfaction…:)

malik wrote on February 15, 2012 - 12:28 AM

The best article showcasing Big4 jobs. I am sending it to all my accounting friends

baba wrote on March 30, 2012 - 8:31 AM

So many accounting friends!!! Si many man

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