1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
4. You spend a majority of your time in a location of your client’s choosing.
5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
6. You are not proud of what you do.
7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
8. It’s difficult to have a family.
9. You have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
12. People ask you, “What do you do?” and you can’t explain it.
13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
15. Your pimp drives a nice car.
16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to ease the pain of it all.
17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if theĀ client is foolish enough to pay it’s not your problem.
18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell.
19. You are rated on your “performance” in an excruciating ordeal.
20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it’s the client who walks away smiling.
21. The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
22. When you deduct your “take” from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
23. Your pimp seems to often abuse you, forgetting that without you, he would not have a business.
24. You do all the real work, but the pimp has a higher status and more money, and really just has to “coordinate” the work for you. Sometimes, you wonder if you could just make more money pimping out yourself.
25. You get so brainwashed into the lifestyle, that you don’t realize that life can be better, until it is too late.
26. Personal time, or a work/life balance, is meaningless to your pimp, all he cares about is satisfying the clients, despite how many times he tells you he loves you.
27. After a few years, you find that all your non-prostitute friends are no longer your friends, because you lost touch and your schedule and lifestyle was difficult to manage. Now you find that you associate primarily with other prostitutes.
28. The turnover rate is ridiculously high. Everyone thinks they can do it for a few years, no problem, but after just a few clients railing you, many break under the pressure, or quit for a better life.
29. Most of the time, your job could be performed by a well-trained monkey.
30. You do what you’re told, and pass further inquiry.
August 30, 2009
There are 19 comment(s) so far.
Truer words were never spoken.
That is dead on.
Prostitutes have enough self-esteem to not freak out over reviews, better strike that item.
BINGO!!!!! Now i have a better clarity… talk about value addition…
I now know what my life will be like
cant even spell accounting!! Yikes!
or future.. lol
Cannot spell “accunting”
since when did the big 4 pay well? (besides partners of course)
I am working or a company and drawing 100k. I have just got an offer from the BIG 4 and they want to pay me less by 20k. I am not sure if I should take this offer or not. Can anyone give me advise on this??
Really need help this time and want to make a decision.
Big 4 pay well? Don’t think so – strike that off the list!
Comparatively, the pay isn’t too bad. Certainly not as good as the bankers or the engineers, but for how mindless accounting is and how little college kids actually know about real-world accounting, I would say the pay is pretty good. With that said, senior associates get paid like shit.
“11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.”
Who would be embarrassed to say they work for a Big 4 firm???
I feel like this check list could also be applied to anyone who works as a consultant.
How big 4 employees are not like prostitutes:
1. Prostitutes have a chance of being laid by people who are not prostitutes.
2. Prostitutes only have 1 pimp’s ass to kiss.
3. Prostitutes don’t hang on to their job for ‘just a little longer’ to build a better resume.
4. There are assistance programs to help people get out of prostitution.
5. There is an upper limit to the number of hours a pimp will expect a prostitute to work in a given day/week.
This is soooo true !!!
Hilarious. I’m definitely passing this on to all of my accountant friends.
@acctnt_shan
I think he meant being an auditor. No one likes auditors.